One of my favorite books in the whole wide world is called "The Wanderer" by Sharon Creech. It's an adventure story written for young readers, but I think it holds some of the most beautiful truths about life and love and loss and hope that I've ever read. I've read it about twenty times and never once was I able to make it through without crying. It's just that good.

The main character in the story is named Sophie and she is a thirteen year old girl who has three sides: the logical side, the day-dreamer side, and the stubborn mule side. All her life she felt connected to the sea and dreamt of one day sailing across the ocean on a boat all by herself. Although she did not go alone, she made this dream a reality and set off with two cousins and three uncles across the Atlantic on a patched-up old boat named The Wanderer. The story continues with all sorts of adventures and plot twists, but eventually they make it across the ocean to England.

The first night Sophie's boat family reached land, they stayed at an inn where they ate as much food as they could stuff into their bodies and talked to as many people as would listen. Each member of the crew was spitting out stories of their journey as fast as they could, as if they needed to tell people about it or it wouldn't be real. As they told their stories, the strangers listened with wide-eyes and in turn told their own tales of the sea.

Sophie describes how peculiar she felt to be on land after having spent weeks on a boat that was rocking and crashing all over because of the ruthless waves. She was dumbfounded from all the wasted space and the useless items people collected in their homes. She couldn't believe how clean and neat everything looked, especially because she hadn't had a proper shower for over a month and living quarters aboard The Wanderer were anything but neat. She had to get used to the phenomenon of eating slowly and leisurely instead of holding on to her plate at all times and shoveling it down before a wave came and pushed the food off.

The thing I liked most about Sophie's account of reaching land was her description of sea legs. Although she walked upon a surface that was stable, she felt as though she would tip over at any moment. She was so used to the rocking and sudden lurches of the boat that she still felt like she was rocking on land. The sea continued to have an influence over her even though she had been removed from it. She was stuck with her sea legs until she could adjust to the stability and normalcy of land again.

I've been stuck with sea legs for the past few weeks.

Everything about Australia still has an influence on me. Not a day goes by when I don't dream of the wide open skies or the beautiful mix of green and blue in the ocean. And just like Sophie and her boat family, I feel like I need to talk about Australia to anyone who will listen. It's odd though, when people ask me "How was Australia?" I usually don't want to tell them. I usually get upset because I can't answer that question in five seconds like they are expecting me to, and honestly I've talked to very few people who care enough to listen to all the stories I have stored up in my heart. Instead, I tend to talk about Australia when I'm not invited to. In the middle of a normal conversation about religion or politics or nature, or anything for that matter, I give my two cents about how Australia relates to these topics and try to persuade everyone that it is so much better than America. Regardless the topic, I can't shut up about Australia.

I think I do this in order to convince myself that I actually went there.

Most days I wonder if it was all a dream. Sometimes I even forget that I was there at all. This scares me a whole lot. I'm afraid I'll loose my sea legs and become so well adjusted to American soil that I'll no longer walk under the influence of the sea. I don't ever want to forget the blessing of Australia and all the gifts it gave to me. But I also don't want to get stuck dwelling on the past and never reaching into the future. So I'll make sure that doesn't happen.

I think I'll always have sea legs to a certain extent. Australia is now part of me. Even if it only feels like a dreamy, less-than-real part of me most days. I long to go back. My soul wants to lay down in the rich red earth and take a nice, long nap. It wants to curl up under the warmth of the sun and be forever happy and safe. 

But that would be too easy.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."
-William G.T. Shedd

 
Breathe in. Breathe out. Put one foot in front of the other. Step out into the vast darkness, 
and
go.

Two thousand thirteen has been the year of all years. I have learned more about faith in the past few months than I had in all my previous years combined. Faith is the "complete trust or confidence in someone or something" and it is "based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof." Faith is the lifeblood that pumps through my veins and empowers me to function amidst a chaotic and oftentimes hopeless world. I have no proof that what I believe in is real, at least not the sort of proof that can be tested and retested in a controlled experiment and later published in a textbook. Yet I have complete trust and total confidence that the God I believe in is true and alive and moving.
I have been home from Australia for exactly four days. Four days does not seem like a long time, but it feels impossible that I could have been in Sydney just four days ago. Could I really have been lying on Bondi Beach with my feet in the sand and the sun pouring down upon my smiling face? Could I really have spent four glorious months in a land that I love and that gave me so much in return? It feels like a sweet, sweet dream that is hanging around me still. Was it real? Am I here, sitting on my bed in my home on the east coast of the United States, ten thousand miles away from the land I have come to call home?

I've completed my journey, I've returned from my adventure, and now it's on to the next one, which will be just as full of faith-lessons as the last.
I was driving home tonight on a quiet country road, where the cars are scarce, the lights are few, and every now and again you have to dodge a buggy. As I unconsciously sang along to the songs of HIllsong's "Glorious Ruins" album, I looked up for a moment and focused on the constellation Orion in front of me. Driving up a hill, the few lights of the cars and shops faded away and it felt as if I were driving straight into the steady, outstretched arms of Orion. It felt nice to be driving headlong into his arms. Welcoming. Warm. Calm. Good. Like everything is how it's supposed to be and I'm right where I belong.

Well shucks, isn't that all anyone wants? To go through life, through its triumphs and tragedies and amidst its sorrows and joys, into outstretched arms, knowing that everything is going to be just fine?

Well my dear ones, that's what faith does.

The future is as unforeseen as the black sky that stretched out around me, but the God who holds all the answers is as bright as Orion, awaiting me with open arms all the way through to the end. LIke the stars ahead of me, His light guides me through the uncertain path and comforts me when I can't see anything but Him. 

As I rounded the hill and came into contact with the lights of other cars and distant shops, the light of Orion lost its brilliance. Instead of feeling comfort and peace I felt the agitation that comes from glaring headlights and noisy signs. No longer was I focused on the beautiful constellation above me, but on the distractions of the world around me. No longer were the stars ahead of me something mysterious and enchanting, but something obscured and forgotten. Amidst the lights from below I lost sight of the expanse above and got mindlessly caught in the current of the world's traffic that moved me forward.

I don't want to get trapped in that traffic.
Faith is not needed for those who use the lights the world has offered them. Orion is not seen to those who forget to look up into the mysterious darkness overhead. The path is carefully drawn and marked by those who want to control exactly where they are going. And usually those who control their paths get to their desired destinations. However, there are no exciting detours along the way. 

Nor does a human-made path have the potential or thrill a God-made path has.

I believe that the plans I had for my future prior to Australia were flawed. They were microscopic compared to what God has in store. They lacked imagination and truth be told, they were down right boring. In Australia I learned more about faith and how big it truly is. My journey down under opened my eyes to the exhilarating, huge world around me. My experiences with God and those he placed in my life while abroad have released me from those old, humdrum plans. 

I've stripped away the distracting, man-made lights of the shops and the traffic and now I can look up into the sky and take in the stunning view of Orion. Now, although all the rest is dark, I can see the arms that are waiting for me at the end. I've given up on making plans based on that which I can make sense of by the light of the world around me. Instead, I'm going on the faith I have in the true light above.

This faith is available to all, and the journey towards a breathtakingly beautiful future with God is there for all who come. The unknown is a bit scary at first, but the confidence we can place in God's plans make all that fear melt away. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other. Breath in, breathe out. Let peace settle upon you and it will enable you to keep moving ahead. Let God replace your carefully crafted future with his massively enriching plans. Believe me, it's worth it, and oh how it brings such great joy!

The proof of Orion is shining brightly up ahead, just turn of the distractions from below and, 
with a little faith,
go.
"When God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."
-2Cor3:17-19tmsg
 
The last few weeks in Australia have been a whirlwind. I've been blessed to be part of so many exciting adventures and have all sorts of fun with such wonderful people! 

Last weekend I went waterskiing with my dear friend, Jess, who is a student at the university I attend here. She has taken me on many road trips, and this was yet another fun trip that was a highlight of my semester. We went to Lake Macquarie, which is the largest saltwater lake on the southern hemisphere. The cabin we stayed in was right on the lake and there were all sorts of activities available. We got up at 6:30 to get some runs in while the water was flat. It took me a few tries, but I eventually popped up and rode around the lake for a few minutes. I tried again later in the day and got up right away! It was so exciting. Jess and her family grew up waterskiing on the lake, so they were all skiing on one ski and going in and out of the wake like it was nothing. Jess and her cousin even skied at the same time and crossed back and forth together. I was so impressed! I loved spending time on the lake. I got to go kayaking, paddle boarding, tubing, and we even played some bat-mitten. I could have stayed there the whole semester, but alas we had to return for school.

The next day I had a super fun sleepover with the girls from Hillsong in my connect group. After the service we got some sushi with a few other people from the 18-25 group and then we ventured off to have some tea, get the most delicious gelato in the world, and then return to my friend's house for a movie and lot's of laughs. In the morning we went to a friends house for breakfast with some more people from the church. It was so nice to spend time with my church community and get away from the routine for a weekend. I really enjoy spending time with the girls from Hillsong, because there is always such diversity of cultures, backgrounds, stories, and world views. I love hearing what other people have to say about life and learn more about the beautiful God I serve by listening to the way other people have encountered him throughout their lives. It has truly been a blessing to be part of Hillsong for the past few months and to be so warmly welcomed into a connect group. God has been so very good to me!

A few days later I got to have an experience of a lifetime. I went to the Sydney Opera House with a few friends to see Romeo and Juliet. Let me say that again, I went to THE Sydney Opera House to see one of the most famous plays ever written. Can you believe this is my life? I am blown away that I get to do things like this all the time! Sydney is such a vibrant city, full of diversity and charm. Before the show started we got dinner and dessert and sat right on the bay between the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. It was like living a dream! 

The show itself was fantastic. It was set in modern times and they incorporated incredible music and some pretty sweet sets. The actors were amazing, of course, and they threw in some interesting twists but still kept all the original lines. The whole time I was there I had to ask myself if it was real. My friend Anna and I kept turning to each other with huge smiles spread across our faces, trying to hold back our giddy laughter. It was by far one the most incredible nights I have had since coming here.

I finished out the week by going to Shelley Beach, which is really close to the famous Manly Beach across the way from Sydney Harbour. The beaches in Manly are unreal. The water is a fantastic color of blue and green and the vegetation is so lush and varied. I had a great time relaxing on the shore with my friends and doing a little souvenir shopping afterwards. Before we got to the beach we went to Pancakes on The Rocks, which is a fabulous breakfast restaurant in the historical section of Sydney known as The Rocks. They have the most delicious pancakes in pretty much every flavor possible. I got blueberry crepes with ice-cream on top!

Living in Sydney for the past three months has been an unforgettable adventure. I have loved every single second spent here and I can't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't chased after my dreams and come to Australia. It has transformed me in so many ways and given me such a desire to explore new places and experience different cultures. There hasn't been a single day when I've had second thoughts about coming here. Every single thing I could have had back home pales in comparison to the journey I have had here.

It may sound like I am boasting or flaunting my life to you right now, but that is not my intention. I can't help but be excited to talk about what has been going on in my life recently, because I have been abundantly blessed by my Jesus and I can't hide it! I don't understand why I have been given this opportunity to live out my dreams, but I couldn't be more grateful that God weaved this chapter into my life and gave my the most amazing parents who have supported me and made this trip possible. God has been transforming my life on the inside and out and it fills me with an everlasting joy that just won't fade away. I love the season I am in right now and it's all I can do but soak it up while it lasts.

Praise Jesus for his abundant goodness!
 
"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!"
I have been in Australia for eighty-four days. EIGHTY FOUR!

I can't believe that time has slipped by so quickly and that my adventures here are drawing to a close. I have about four weeks left with my study abroad program and then another week and a half of travel around Australia with my parents. It's insane that a place I once was afraid of and uncomfortable in has now become my home. I feel like I belong here; like I was meant to step out of the confines of my average life and fly to a land that was waiting for me. 

I wish I didn't have to worry about school work or getting to classes so that I could spend each day exploring Australia and building upon the relationships I have developed since being here. I love the people I have met and each one of them has taught me something new about God, love, family, dreams, responsibility, and life in general. What I had hoped to gain coming here was an expanded vocabulary of God. I wanted to see him in new ways and learn to speak to and about him with a richer language. I also wanted become more responsible, independent, and aware of who I am. 

When I reflect on the last three months I can clearly see the actualization of these two goals. God is now the love of my life and I have learned to speak his language of forgiveness, acceptance, faith, trust, positivity, and tranquility. The people I have met and the places I have gone have shown me how incredibly present God is and at the same time how massive he is. He is near me every moment, yet he governs the bigger picture as it unfolds into the universe. As I have developed a true friendship with God, he has kindly been showing me who I am and the areas of my life that need work. He has revealed so many of the passions that have been lying dormant in my heart for years and given me an enthusiasm for the future that is beyond anything I have experienced in the past. At the same time, he has placed people in my life that have taught me about the fire I have and how it can be useful rather than harmful. I see now how much pain I have inflicted with my bold and rather blunt spirit. I pray that in time I will be able to quiet my fire so that it can be a fierce yet gentle force for social justice, reconciliation, and harmony in communities. 

Along the way I have been blessed to gain knowledge, relationships, and experiences that I had not been expecting. Australian culture has taught me much about the American culture I have been immersed in all of my life. I have seen the value of enjoying life in the moment and placing value on people rather than personal success or financial stability. The amount of peace and safety here has overwhelmed me and I am not looking forward to returning to a society that is steeped with so much violence and corruption. The serenity of the Outback has confirmed my appreciation for Sabbath rest and solitude. My church has renewed my enthusiasm for creativity and community. The sisters I have gained in connect group have blessed, stretched, and inspired me in ways that words could never adequately describe. The students in my program have been a constant source of encouragement, joy, growth, discovery, and praise. I love them all so dearly and they will forever find a home in my heart.

Australia has given me so much to boast about. I came here expecting to have some fun, and what I got in return was a storehouse of treasures. I would never trade my time here in a million years, nor do I have any regrets about the sacrifices I made in order to come here. God knew what he was doing when he placed this dream in my heart, and he has not come up short in delivering the adventure of a lifetime. I believe everyone should ask God to give them dreams and then have the courage to chase after them. God uses us most when we don't know what we're doing, so why not step into the unknown? I did, and it has been the greatest blessing of my life.

So go, 
do. 
Run, 
explore.

Get out of your box and let God give you dreams that are greater than anything you could have dreamt up on your own. There is treasure out there waiting for you, you just have to be brave enough to go looking for it.
"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better."
-Albert Camus
 
Before I begin this discussion, I want to put it out there that I have very little knowledge on this subject compared to the highly informed leaders who make these issues their career. I have limited experiences and a small bubble of people that I am exposed to, so I cannot speak definitively or offer too much to this discussion, but I am attempting to step into these subjects and hopefully learn much more in the years to come. I am only twenty-one, I have only taken a few government classes, and I have had little exposure to politics, but I am searching and I would like to invite you to join in the conversation with me...

I've really been struggling with American systems of government recently. We often discuss the political systems, policies, and roles that characterize the United States in class, and it has caused me to gain a bit of perspective about my nation's position in the world.

We are strong. We are powerful. We are controlling. We are invasive. We are violent. 

We are proud.

So often I am asked if I have a gun when people find out I am from America. It breaks my heart that we are known for our violence, and worse that we are known for being so proud of our gun rights. It feels like patriotism has shifted in recent years to become something juvenile and arrogant. We laugh when we say, "I love 'merica" and watch the Red Solo Cup music video, but is it really a joke to us or is it the reality we live in? What makes us so proud?

Take one look at our foreign policy and you will see that America has a big brother complex that has gotten us entangled in all sorts of issues that were not originally ours to bear. However, we like to make sure we are powerful and influential enough to be the top world leader, and we do everything we can to stay that way. I admit, it is a good thing to get involved in the affairs of struggling nations and bring justice upon those who are oppressive and immoral, but is it a good thing that we use violence as our means of getting these things done? Is it okay that our main method for achieving reconciliation is the military? Are we right when we send troops into weaker countries in the hopes that democracy will take root and make them more American, and thus solve all their problems?

Violence in not a virtue. It is a heart breaking, dehumanizing, and devastating system that causes so much more damage than it could ever cause good. How blind are we when we move into a nation and declare that we will "fix them" by bringing American systems of democracy and western traditions of religion? Are we so superior that we don't need to listen to other nation's ideas or even take notice of their cultural customs and values? It is painful to think that so much cultural beauty is dismissed in the process of forcing others to become more like us.

Even within our borders we impose traditional, anglo-saxon values on people who are different than us. Yes, we are a melting pot and yes there is a lot of diversity in the United States, but is this reflected in our political practices? How often do people critique health care because they think those in need of it are just lazy and shouldn't be our responsibility to help? How often to we talk about immigrants with derogative labels and develop policies that end up describing them in less than human terms? Why is it that people of different traditions than us are seen as problems that need to be taken care of? Why do we continue to tell people to become more like us on the grounds that our lifestyle is superior to their unrefined ways?

Perhaps these questions are exaggerated or over-generalized, but at least take a minute to think about them. Take a few silent moments to contemplate the attitudes and systems that could even lead me to ask them. Reflect on how you view other cultures and how people of different traditions make you feel. Do the words "socialism" and "antichrist" go hand in hand for you? Does health care make you frustrated? Do you view immigrants as people equal to you or instead as people of a separate, perhaps lower class than you?

Be honest with yourself.

I've tried being honest with myself, and although I have not figured it all out, this is what I have come to believe. Socialism is more reflective of the biblical principles of provision and generosity than capitalism is. The variety of cultures is what gives life a richness and a fullness that would not be possible if everyone were "American." Health care demonstrates justice and compassion and it gives people better opportunities for successful, fulfilling lives. Immigrants are cherished by God and have beautiful stories to share with the world. We shouldn't be trying so hard to keep these people out or turn them into model Americans. We shouldn't be forcing our ways of life without contemplating the benefits of other cultures. We shouldn't be so obsessed with power and control.

Again, these are general reactions to the topics I have been discussing in class. I am still processing American values and systems and I will continue to wrestle with these issues until I come to a better understanding of them. Even then, I will persist in learning more and expanding my world views. However, this I have come to know for certain: violence is not a virtue. I am heart broken by its prevalence in American culture and values and I am coming very close to adopting pacifism in place of my traditional republican views. There are still many issues I need to struggle through before I can declare my beliefs on all these topics, but as of now I am in the process of evaluating the underlying values that have shaped my identity as an American. More so than that, I seek to honestly confront my practices and conclusions with biblical principles so that I can be defined by Kingdom culture, rather than any culture that belongs to this world.

 
On Thursday morning we set out on a ten hour bus ride to Condobolin, New South Wales. Each of us carried a sleeping bag, a book bag, and a spirit of adventure as we prepared for a four day visit to the remote Outback of Australia. Along the way we visited an aboriginal reserve and got to see how Aborigines synthesize their ancient culture with the current culture of Australia. The place we stopped was a meeting house for community and political collaborations. All over the building there were beautiful paintings depicting aboriginal values, spirituality, and daily routines. Many paintings and carvings incorporated a goanna and a snake, which oppose one another as enemies, in order to represent the value of making peace and coming to agreements with those who are different than you. It was a cheerful, thoughtful, and tranquil place to be.

After our short trip to the Aboriginal meeting house we continued on to our final destination, which was a 35,000 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. As we pulled up to our living quarters we could see spindly eucalyptus trees standing proud in the vast landscape, bright yellow wildflowers sprouting up all over the fields, clumps of dead thistle bushes, and stretches of dirt roads the rich orange color of a harvest moon. The sheep station we were staying in stood out on the flat expanse and it was sitting next to the welcome sight of a roaring bonfire, a peaceful river, picnic tables, and a few dirt-covered pick-up trucks, known as utes.

This was indeed the Outback.

After a delicious dinner of burgers and ice-cream for dessert, we went on a kangaroo chase in the eerie darkness of night. We all piled on the back of the ute and held on for dear life as we zoomed across the property, all the while being blasted in the face by the night's wind and the dust of the dirt road. As we drove along, screaming and laughing from our excitement, we eagerly followed the path of the spotlight until finally we found what we were looking for. The enormous, quirky silhouettes of kangaroos were bouncing along in the distance, hopping and leaping huge lengths, and causing us to cry out with elation. We found a few more groups of kangaroos jumping along in the fields and eventually we drove off the road into the fields and chased after a solo kangaroo, who was showing off by using his tail to walk and stopping to pose for us.

This was indeed the Outback.

It doesn't get much more authentic than driving along in the back of the ute, getting gusted in the face by a constant flow of freezing, dusty air, and chasing after kangaroos. It was like something out of a travel brochure, yet for the family who lived there, it was a normal way of spending the night after a long day of working on the farm. And this wasn't even the last of it! 

For the next few days we went on even more adventures that helped us see and understand how the Australian land shapes the culture of the people who live off it. The children at the elementary school we visited were basically all related and they talked about their favorite activities which included motorbiking, swimming in the river, and riding horses. During the property tour we saw the vastness of the country and how difficult it is to master the unpredictable, wild Australian land. At the main site of the farm we witnessed the shearing of a sheep and learned about all the hard work and attention that goes into caring for the cattle and making the best use of their resources. At night we laid beneath the most brilliant expanse of stars I have ever seen and we were filled with amazement by the constellations that are familiar to us yet upside-down and backwards. During free time we relaxed by the fire and shared stories that brought our souls closer and helped us understand one another and, in turn, be better understood. 

We didn't spend time on the internet or in front of the television. We were not bombarded by advertisements for the latest fad or pictures of beautiful people who remind us how imperfect we look. We were not mocked by the media or deceived by the constant stream of distorted messages. We were not entrapped by the poisonous grip of pop culture or lost in the hustle and bustle of the city.

Instead we had room to breathe, space to think, and opportunities to be discover. We felt free to communicate openly and vulnerably. We could be seen for who we are rather than judged according to what we have or what we can offer. In the Outback, it doesn't matter what you look like, who you know, or what you have. What matters is who you are.

Our time in the Outback was the most beautiful and special part of this adventure so far. It allowed me to be known by the other students in the program. To be known by the Lord. To be known by my own soul. To be known by the land itself.

I may not have predicted how exactly I would experience the Australian country, but once I did, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was indeed the Outback.
 
"I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you! God, my God, I can't thank you enough." -ps. 30:12, tmsg
Christ has been showing off to me recently. He's been taking me on a romantic adventure through the sunny streets of Sydney and waking me up every morning with the sweetest of songs. Every time I meet with him, he's more wonderful than ever before. I am in love with his presence and enchanted by the words he softly speaks in my ear. I can't get him out of my mind!

Before I explain the blessings the Lord has lavished upon me lately, there's something you've got to know about me. I've been carrying a heavy burden lately. My heart has been permeated with the stench of bitterness and crippled by the repulsive presence of insecurity. I have been angry, confused, sad, weary, self-righteous, entitled, judgmental, and overall selfish. All the while, I was unhappy that these things were defining me, but the crazy thing is, I didn't know who I was without them. So once God started removing these ugly flaws one by one, I didn't know who the person left behind was. I was lost, unsure of what I stood for or what my purpose in life was. I was unsure of who I was. But there was one thing I did know: that when I didn't understand, I would always choose God.

This was a commitment I made for myself a few months ago. So many things in life don't make sense and it's a rare event to get clear answers. I accepted this, knowing I would not understand things for a while, but I was confident that the Lord would pull through. All I have to do is trust and continually choose to love him.

And love him I do!

My journey here to Australia has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am opened up to a foreign world that has new ideas about life and different systems of thinking. The people here have taught me what it looks like to apply theology to real life. No longer is reconciliation a subject that I study with books or forgiveness a doctrine I research. They are real life concepts that have incredible consequences when applied with a genuine and humble heart. The Body of Christ is no longer a pretty term I use when looking for a synonym for the word "church" while writing papers. Instead, it is a real community of believers, comprised of the faces of the beautiful brothers and sisters I have met along the way. Jesus is no longer just the name of someone I read about in books. It is the name that is always on my lips, the name of the Lover of my Soul.

My soul has been so empowered by the Spirit lately. I thought I would never be able to let go of my anger, yet it is melting away before my eyes. If you told me a few months ago that I wouldn't be bitter against those who have betrayed me, but instead be speaking about them kindly and praying for their joy, I would have laughed in your face. Yet that is exactly what is happening. I didn't think I'd be able to be confident in myself after all the things that have torn me down, yet a confidence that comes from Christ alone is seeping out of me and overflowing into my actions. The Spirit of the Living God is empowering me every moment and it is glorious.

And while I am being empowered, I am falling deep, deeply in love with my Savior. I am swept away by his romance. I am speechless on account of his goodness. I am filled with a warm joy at the thought of spending an eternity with him. I am happy to the point of insanity when I think about the fact that he is not done chasing me.

Jesus has been changing things lately. So much good has come out of the last couple of chaotic, messy months. He's brought me a long way from where I was and shown me how to look at things from a heavenly perspective. Like Elisha's servant, my eyes have been opened to see that those who are with me are greater than those who are against me. 

Jesus has been so abundantly good to me, and it ain't over yet.
there's something good about your heart, he chose you just the way you are.
 
See. Taste. Touch. Smell. Hear. Feel.

The senses must not be caged by the number five. They must not be weakened by the oppressive noise of the world or overcome by the endless stream of offensive images. They are in constant danger of being swallowed up, disturbed, misused, and forgotten. For those who long for a sense of God, this can not be. 

Our senses should be nurtured, discovered, and engaged. We live in an age that is bombarded by messages that point everywhere but God. Images portray life based on lies. Noise takes up so much space that there is no room left to hear the Spirit speak. Synthetic odors fill the atmosphere and confuse the senses, weakening our ability to recognize the people and places represented by different scents. Emotions are lost or misunderstood because of the constant attack on the senses. It seems impossible that anyone could engage their senses and discover the magnitude of feelings that have been so beautifully given to humanity. Yet there is a way.

In the Garden there was peace. Sweetness filled the air and joy floated through the wind. True rest was available and life was rich with pleasure. The senses had room to breathe; they were free to move they were ever expanding. Outside the Garden other senses lay in wait, ready to be taken up and explored. People could connect their spirits to the world around them. They could be vulnerable before one another and they felt what it was like to be truly known.

My senses have been at war in Australia. In one dimension they are always at work, trying to distinguish the endless sights and sounds of the city. In another dimension they are in sleep mode, too overwhelmed to engage. And in yet another dimension they are being freed, finding room to dance through the space around me. In the stillness of my room they are given the time and rest to make sense of this frantic journey. In the Blue Mountains they are being challenged by the spiritual traditions of the Aborigines. At Sunday night church services, they are renewed by the Spirit of the Living God.

I have been gaining knowledge and experience from two main areas of life in Australia. The first area is my university classes and the second is my church. The central topic of one of my courses is the history and culture of Aborigines. A few weeks ago we traveled into the Blue Mountains for a guided bush walk with an Aboriginal man. He taught us how to feel the rhythms of the earth as they passed up through the ground and into our bodies, filling our spirits with peace and granting our souls the freedom to move out of ourselves and into the nature surrounding us. He spoke of the importance of treading gently on the trail, in order to avoid disturbing the senses with unnatural noise. He gave us leaves to chew on, branches to feel, rocks to paint with, plants to smell.

My senses were fully engaged on that bush walk. My feet were sensitive to the earth I stepped on and my ears were opened to the subtle sounds of the forrest. I was expanding my senses beyond their normal capacity, and I was able to be at peace throughout my entire body. Although the Aboriginal ideas and practices were confusing and foreign to me, I felt enriched by their careful awareness of the spiritual realm of life. I was challenged to step outside of myself and see into the expanse that lie beyond normal human activity. It was an unparalleled experience, and one that my senses were thankful for.

My senses have also been freed through my experience at church. I attend the evening service at Hillsong City campus, and for the month of August there was a special series of messages called "Sunday Night Live." Each Sunday night there was a different theme which was developed throughout the message with the help of special affects, acting, visuals, and sounds. One of the messages talked about the senses and the constant war they face each day. Of the millions of senses out there, the preacher talked about hearing, touch, sight, smell, pain, time, and direction. I loved hearing about the "senses beyond the senses" and challenging myself to consider the various ways my soul is wired to engage emotions.

We are not meant to be caged the a box of sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. There is so much beyond that! 

We sense loss, joy, order, dissension, unity, honor, loyalty, fear, success, lies, value, and heaps of other significant feelings. We sense this in our own souls and in the souls of others. It is such a beautiful thing that we have been designed to tap into our emotions in order to fully engage in life and do so within a community. We are meant to go through experiences together and share our sorrows and joys with others. Our senses are ripe for relationship and they lay in wait, longing for the day when we will break out of our cage and allow ourselves access to a life that is abundant--a life that is fully engaged.

It is my desire to take advantage of the Garden Life. As I go through this journey, I push myself to process the new ideas and feelings that I have. At the same time I must tap into past experiences and emotions in order to make sense of my current position in life. Sometimes this is a joyful process, and other times it is painful and scary. Either way, my sense are being stretched far beyond what they have ever reached before and I am being molded by God into a woman who is aware of the world within her and outside of her. 

My senses long for the freedom of the Garden, and the beautiful thing is, Christ has unlocked the gates and granted me access to a life that is teeming with rich, whole, beautiful experiences.

Dance free Soul, the Garden is waiting.
 
"His eyes are the Sun and His eyes are the Moon. The Earth is the Lord's and everything in it belongs to You.
His face is not hid from the old folks or the youth, but rather in all that we see, You're in all that we see."
Spending time in Australia and balancing the life I have here with the life I am still connected to back home has taught me one extremely important lesson: God is in everything. His breath is the air I inhale both in Australia and America. His love is reflected in the eyes of all the diverse and beautiful people that walk past me on the streets. His smile is spread across the sparkling stars of the night's sky. His arms are the mountains and valleys that give shape to the Earth. His voice is the wind, the rain, the chirping of the birds, the chaos of the city, and the whisper of the distant ocean. He is everywhere, in all that we see.

I have been blessed to befriend some truly wonderful people on my journey to Australia that have proven this lesson to me. Each and every person carries their own complicated, beautiful story. Every story reveals the unique work of God's hands, and as I listen to the sorrows and joys my friends have experienced, I see God more clearly. I see that he is so good all the time. Even when hearts break, fears become realities, and tragedies sweep in like a summer storm, God is doing something so good. Even when life appears irreparable, his promises stand true. This brings hope and joy and peace in such an overwhelming and inexplicable way.

I have been personally invited by God to go on an unknown, messy, thrilling, beautiful journey through Australia. He brought me here through a series of events I could not have even fathomed at the time. He took me out of undesirable situations and planted me in a new place; a place full of hope and exciting opportunities. He led me through waves of different emotions, allowing me to be put through difficult events one day at a time. And he continues to prepare me to travel down the overgrown and windy path ahead.

Australia is a country of unique experiences. I think God especially designed this earth to be full of complexity and trials so that his creation could toil through the past and move on to a brighter future. Consider Australia's history. The first western settlers were a mob of rowdy convicts. They came with hearts full of bitterness and irreverence, desiring equal treatment and the freedom to live a nice, uncomplicated life. The Australian Earth provided plenty of difficulties that they eventually overcame, at least enough to survive. Australian animals were persistent threats and the ocean was full of deathly dangers. Aborigines posed a "problem" to the settlers, which was unfortunately dealt with in shameful and inhumane ways. The history of the white settlers is by no means graceful or tidy. Honestly, Australia was one big mess. But they have crawled out of that mess, picked themselves up, and moved on to become a fascinating, creative, and prosperous country.

I am likewise a mess. My history is in no way graceful or tidy. I have dealt with problems in unfortunately shameful ways. My heart came to Australia full of bitterness and irreverence. I am a convict, escaping the past and moving on to a brighter future. I am a pilgrim, seeking to process a new culture and evaluate my own. And as I continue down the overgrown path that God has invited me on, I walk by faith that he is planning something good around every turn. I trust that his promises form the ground I am walking on. I believe that He is in everything I see.

This lesson has proved to be an important one so far. The more I see God, the more beautiful he becomes. The more I talk to his people, the more I understand his purposes. The more adventures I go on, the more he reveals himself to be an awesome, powerful, inspiring God. The more he teaches me about history, the more I can trust that he is good and he is at work. The more I write these posts, the more in love I fall with my God.

He's in every blade of grass. 
He's in everyone we meet. 
He's in all that we see.
"After years of writing, I can't stop writing about Your name. I guess I'm in love with You."
 
On saturday a group of us went to Featherdale Wildlife Park. They have all sorts of native Australian animals and we were lucky enough to pet and feed some of them. There were wombats, pelicans, wallabies, kangaroos, goannas, koalas, crocodiles, kookaburras, snakes, emus, biblies, and so many other cool animals. I absolutely love animals so I had a super fun time hanging out with the kangaroos!