Before I begin this discussion, I want to put it out there that I have very little knowledge on this subject compared to the highly informed leaders who make these issues their career. I have limited experiences and a small bubble of people that I am exposed to, so I cannot speak definitively or offer too much to this discussion, but I am attempting to step into these subjects and hopefully learn much more in the years to come. I am only twenty-one, I have only taken a few government classes, and I have had little exposure to politics, but I am searching and I would like to invite you to join in the conversation with me...

I've really been struggling with American systems of government recently. We often discuss the political systems, policies, and roles that characterize the United States in class, and it has caused me to gain a bit of perspective about my nation's position in the world.

We are strong. We are powerful. We are controlling. We are invasive. We are violent. 

We are proud.

So often I am asked if I have a gun when people find out I am from America. It breaks my heart that we are known for our violence, and worse that we are known for being so proud of our gun rights. It feels like patriotism has shifted in recent years to become something juvenile and arrogant. We laugh when we say, "I love 'merica" and watch the Red Solo Cup music video, but is it really a joke to us or is it the reality we live in? What makes us so proud?

Take one look at our foreign policy and you will see that America has a big brother complex that has gotten us entangled in all sorts of issues that were not originally ours to bear. However, we like to make sure we are powerful and influential enough to be the top world leader, and we do everything we can to stay that way. I admit, it is a good thing to get involved in the affairs of struggling nations and bring justice upon those who are oppressive and immoral, but is it a good thing that we use violence as our means of getting these things done? Is it okay that our main method for achieving reconciliation is the military? Are we right when we send troops into weaker countries in the hopes that democracy will take root and make them more American, and thus solve all their problems?

Violence in not a virtue. It is a heart breaking, dehumanizing, and devastating system that causes so much more damage than it could ever cause good. How blind are we when we move into a nation and declare that we will "fix them" by bringing American systems of democracy and western traditions of religion? Are we so superior that we don't need to listen to other nation's ideas or even take notice of their cultural customs and values? It is painful to think that so much cultural beauty is dismissed in the process of forcing others to become more like us.

Even within our borders we impose traditional, anglo-saxon values on people who are different than us. Yes, we are a melting pot and yes there is a lot of diversity in the United States, but is this reflected in our political practices? How often do people critique health care because they think those in need of it are just lazy and shouldn't be our responsibility to help? How often to we talk about immigrants with derogative labels and develop policies that end up describing them in less than human terms? Why is it that people of different traditions than us are seen as problems that need to be taken care of? Why do we continue to tell people to become more like us on the grounds that our lifestyle is superior to their unrefined ways?

Perhaps these questions are exaggerated or over-generalized, but at least take a minute to think about them. Take a few silent moments to contemplate the attitudes and systems that could even lead me to ask them. Reflect on how you view other cultures and how people of different traditions make you feel. Do the words "socialism" and "antichrist" go hand in hand for you? Does health care make you frustrated? Do you view immigrants as people equal to you or instead as people of a separate, perhaps lower class than you?

Be honest with yourself.

I've tried being honest with myself, and although I have not figured it all out, this is what I have come to believe. Socialism is more reflective of the biblical principles of provision and generosity than capitalism is. The variety of cultures is what gives life a richness and a fullness that would not be possible if everyone were "American." Health care demonstrates justice and compassion and it gives people better opportunities for successful, fulfilling lives. Immigrants are cherished by God and have beautiful stories to share with the world. We shouldn't be trying so hard to keep these people out or turn them into model Americans. We shouldn't be forcing our ways of life without contemplating the benefits of other cultures. We shouldn't be so obsessed with power and control.

Again, these are general reactions to the topics I have been discussing in class. I am still processing American values and systems and I will continue to wrestle with these issues until I come to a better understanding of them. Even then, I will persist in learning more and expanding my world views. However, this I have come to know for certain: violence is not a virtue. I am heart broken by its prevalence in American culture and values and I am coming very close to adopting pacifism in place of my traditional republican views. There are still many issues I need to struggle through before I can declare my beliefs on all these topics, but as of now I am in the process of evaluating the underlying values that have shaped my identity as an American. More so than that, I seek to honestly confront my practices and conclusions with biblical principles so that I can be defined by Kingdom culture, rather than any culture that belongs to this world.

On Thursday morning we set out on a ten hour bus ride to Condobolin, New South Wales. Each of us carried a sleeping bag, a book bag, and a spirit of adventure as we prepared for a four day visit to the remote Outback of Australia. Along the way we visited an aboriginal reserve and got to see how Aborigines synthesize their ancient culture with the current culture of Australia. The place we stopped was a meeting house for community and political collaborations. All over the building there were beautiful paintings depicting aboriginal values, spirituality, and daily routines. Many paintings and carvings incorporated a goanna and a snake, which oppose one another as enemies, in order to represent the value of making peace and coming to agreements with those who are different than you. It was a cheerful, thoughtful, and tranquil place to be.

After our short trip to the Aboriginal meeting house we continued on to our final destination, which was a 35,000 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. As we pulled up to our living quarters we could see spindly eucalyptus trees standing proud in the vast landscape, bright yellow wildflowers sprouting up all over the fields, clumps of dead thistle bushes, and stretches of dirt roads the rich orange color of a harvest moon. The sheep station we were staying in stood out on the flat expanse and it was sitting next to the welcome sight of a roaring bonfire, a peaceful river, picnic tables, and a few dirt-covered pick-up trucks, known as utes.

This was indeed the Outback.

After a delicious dinner of burgers and ice-cream for dessert, we went on a kangaroo chase in the eerie darkness of night. We all piled on the back of the ute and held on for dear life as we zoomed across the property, all the while being blasted in the face by the night's wind and the dust of the dirt road. As we drove along, screaming and laughing from our excitement, we eagerly followed the path of the spotlight until finally we found what we were looking for. The enormous, quirky silhouettes of kangaroos were bouncing along in the distance, hopping and leaping huge lengths, and causing us to cry out with elation. We found a few more groups of kangaroos jumping along in the fields and eventually we drove off the road into the fields and chased after a solo kangaroo, who was showing off by using his tail to walk and stopping to pose for us.

This was indeed the Outback.

It doesn't get much more authentic than driving along in the back of the ute, getting gusted in the face by a constant flow of freezing, dusty air, and chasing after kangaroos. It was like something out of a travel brochure, yet for the family who lived there, it was a normal way of spending the night after a long day of working on the farm. And this wasn't even the last of it! 

For the next few days we went on even more adventures that helped us see and understand how the Australian land shapes the culture of the people who live off it. The children at the elementary school we visited were basically all related and they talked about their favorite activities which included motorbiking, swimming in the river, and riding horses. During the property tour we saw the vastness of the country and how difficult it is to master the unpredictable, wild Australian land. At the main site of the farm we witnessed the shearing of a sheep and learned about all the hard work and attention that goes into caring for the cattle and making the best use of their resources. At night we laid beneath the most brilliant expanse of stars I have ever seen and we were filled with amazement by the constellations that are familiar to us yet upside-down and backwards. During free time we relaxed by the fire and shared stories that brought our souls closer and helped us understand one another and, in turn, be better understood. 

We didn't spend time on the internet or in front of the television. We were not bombarded by advertisements for the latest fad or pictures of beautiful people who remind us how imperfect we look. We were not mocked by the media or deceived by the constant stream of distorted messages. We were not entrapped by the poisonous grip of pop culture or lost in the hustle and bustle of the city.

Instead we had room to breathe, space to think, and opportunities to be discover. We felt free to communicate openly and vulnerably. We could be seen for who we are rather than judged according to what we have or what we can offer. In the Outback, it doesn't matter what you look like, who you know, or what you have. What matters is who you are.

Our time in the Outback was the most beautiful and special part of this adventure so far. It allowed me to be known by the other students in the program. To be known by the Lord. To be known by my own soul. To be known by the land itself.

I may not have predicted how exactly I would experience the Australian country, but once I did, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was indeed the Outback.

Christ has been showing off to me recently. He's been taking me on a romantic adventure through the sunny streets of Sydney and waking me up every morning with the sweetest of songs. Every time I meet with him, he's more wonderful than ever before. I am in love with his presence and enchanted by the words he softly speaks in my ear. I can't get him out of my mind!

Before I explain the blessings the Lord has lavished upon me lately, there's something you've got to know about me. I've been carrying a heavy burden lately. My heart has been permeated with the stench of bitterness and crippled by the repulsive presence of insecurity. I have been angry, confused, sad, weary, self-righteous, entitled, judgmental, and overall selfish. All the while, I was unhappy that these things were defining me, but the crazy thing is, I didn't know who I was without them. So once God started removing these ugly flaws one by one, I didn't know who the person left behind was. I was lost, unsure of what I stood for or what my purpose in life was. I was unsure of who I was. But there was one thing I did know: that when I didn't understand, I would always choose God.

This was a commitment I made for myself a few months ago. So many things in life don't make sense and it's a rare event to get clear answers. I accepted this, knowing I would not understand things for a while, but I was confident that the Lord would pull through. All I have to do is trust and continually choose to love him.

And love him I do!

My journey here to Australia has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am opened up to a foreign world that has new ideas about life and different systems of thinking. The people here have taught me what it looks like to apply theology to real life. No longer is reconciliation a subject that I study with books or forgiveness a doctrine I research. They are real life concepts that have incredible consequences when applied with a genuine and humble heart. The Body of Christ is no longer a pretty term I use when looking for a synonym for the word "church" while writing papers. Instead, it is a real community of believers, comprised of the faces of the beautiful brothers and sisters I have met along the way. Jesus is no longer just the name of someone I read about in books. It is the name that is always on my lips, the name of the Lover of my Soul.

My soul has been so empowered by the Spirit lately. I thought I would never be able to let go of my anger, yet it is melting away before my eyes. If you told me a few months ago that I wouldn't be bitter against those who have betrayed me, but instead be speaking about them kindly and praying for their joy, I would have laughed in your face. Yet that is exactly what is happening. I didn't think I'd be able to be confident in myself after all the things that have torn me down, yet a confidence that comes from Christ alone is seeping out of me and overflowing into my actions. The Spirit of the Living God is empowering me every moment and it is glorious.

And while I am being empowered, I am falling deep, deeply in love with my Savior. I am swept away by his romance. I am speechless on account of his goodness. I am filled with a warm joy at the thought of spending an eternity with him. I am happy to the point of insanity when I think about the fact that he is not done chasing me.

Jesus has been changing things lately. So much good has come out of the last couple of chaotic, messy months. He's brought me a long way from where I was and shown me how to look at things from a heavenly perspective. Like Elisha's servant, my eyes have been opened to see that those who are with me are greater than those who are against me. 

Jesus has been so abundantly good to me, and it ain't over yet.

See. Taste. Touch. Smell. Hear. Feel.

The senses must not be caged by the number five. They must not be weakened by the oppressive noise of the world or overcome by the endless stream of offensive images. They are in constant danger of being swallowed up, disturbed, misused, and forgotten. For those who long for a sense of God, this can not be. 

Our senses should be nurtured, discovered, and engaged. We live in an age that is bombarded by messages that point everywhere but God. Images portray life based on lies. Noise takes up so much space that there is no room left to hear the Spirit speak. Synthetic odors fill the atmosphere and confuse the senses, weakening our ability to recognize the people and places represented by different scents. Emotions are lost or misunderstood because of the constant attack on the senses. It seems impossible that anyone could engage their senses and discover the magnitude of feelings that have been so beautifully given to humanity. Yet there is a way.

In the Garden there was peace. Sweetness filled the air and joy floated through the wind. True rest was available and life was rich with pleasure. The senses had room to breathe; they were free to move they were ever expanding. Outside the Garden other senses lay in wait, ready to be taken up and explored. People could connect their spirits to the world around them. They could be vulnerable before one another and they felt what it was like to be truly known.

My senses have been at war in Australia. In one dimension they are always at work, trying to distinguish the endless sights and sounds of the city. In another dimension they are in sleep mode, too overwhelmed to engage. And in yet another dimension they are being freed, finding room to dance through the space around me. In the stillness of my room they are given the time and rest to make sense of this frantic journey. In the Blue Mountains they are being challenged by the spiritual traditions of the Aborigines. At Sunday night church services, they are renewed by the Spirit of the Living God.

I have been gaining knowledge and experience from two main areas of life in Australia. The first area is my university classes and the second is my church. The central topic of one of my courses is the history and culture of Aborigines. A few weeks ago we traveled into the Blue Mountains for a guided bush walk with an Aboriginal man. He taught us how to feel the rhythms of the earth as they passed up through the ground and into our bodies, filling our spirits with peace and granting our souls the freedom to move out of ourselves and into the nature surrounding us. He spoke of the importance of treading gently on the trail, in order to avoid disturbing the senses with unnatural noise. He gave us leaves to chew on, branches to feel, rocks to paint with, plants to smell.

My senses were fully engaged on that bush walk. My feet were sensitive to the earth I stepped on and my ears were opened to the subtle sounds of the forrest. I was expanding my senses beyond their normal capacity, and I was able to be at peace throughout my entire body. Although the Aboriginal ideas and practices were confusing and foreign to me, I felt enriched by their careful awareness of the spiritual realm of life. I was challenged to step outside of myself and see into the expanse that lie beyond normal human activity. It was an unparalleled experience, and one that my senses were thankful for.

My senses have also been freed through my experience at church. I attend the evening service at Hillsong City campus, and for the month of August there was a special series of messages called "Sunday Night Live." Each Sunday night there was a different theme which was developed throughout the message with the help of special affects, acting, visuals, and sounds. One of the messages talked about the senses and the constant war they face each day. Of the millions of senses out there, the preacher talked about hearing, touch, sight, smell, pain, time, and direction. I loved hearing about the "senses beyond the senses" and challenging myself to consider the various ways my soul is wired to engage emotions.

We are not meant to be caged the a box of sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. There is so much beyond that! 

We sense loss, joy, order, dissension, unity, honor, loyalty, fear, success, lies, value, and heaps of other significant feelings. We sense this in our own souls and in the souls of others. It is such a beautiful thing that we have been designed to tap into our emotions in order to fully engage in life and do so within a community. We are meant to go through experiences together and share our sorrows and joys with others. Our senses are ripe for relationship and they lay in wait, longing for the day when we will break out of our cage and allow ourselves access to a life that is abundant--a life that is fully engaged.

It is my desire to take advantage of the Garden Life. As I go through this journey, I push myself to process the new ideas and feelings that I have. At the same time I must tap into past experiences and emotions in order to make sense of my current position in life. Sometimes this is a joyful process, and other times it is painful and scary. Either way, my sense are being stretched far beyond what they have ever reached before and I am being molded by God into a woman who is aware of the world within her and outside of her. 

My senses long for the freedom of the Garden, and the beautiful thing is, Christ has unlocked the gates and granted me access to a life that is teeming with rich, whole, beautiful experiences.

Dance free Soul, the Garden is waiting.