I'm just a simple brown-eyed girl who's seeking out her Lord and Savior in the biggest way possible. I yearn to step into the challenging and adventurous plans he has for me, but lately those plans seem so scary.
I thought I knew God's will for my life. I thought it was all set out in front of me plain and simple. I knew when I'd get married, where, how, what I'd do afterwards and where I'd live, what seminary I'd attend, and what I'd do for a job, when I'd move back to my hometown, when I'd start having kids...the whole nine yards.
But now my life is a blank slate.
God is showing me that my will is not the same as His. So here I am, waiting patiently for an answer to the giant question mark that is my life, or even a hint of what is to come, and all the while I pray "not my will Lord, but YOURS be done." I made so many mistakes when I was following my own desires and I ran into so many disappoints when I was acting according to my own plans. I sit here confessing these things to God, and He's just shaking his head at me and saying, "Oh dear child, I hate to say this but, I told you so!!! I've been waiting for you to figure that out all your life."
Well God, I've figured it out. I will still make mistakes, I will still follow plans that I think are God's but are really my own, but I will no longer ignore His will because I am foolishly chasing after my own. I will no longer try to control the situations around me or do God's job for him. He asks me to wait. He asks me to trust. He asks me to let go and believe that what he provides is greater than anything I could have clung to.
So I'm letting go.
I'm letting go of my past. I'm letting go of my insecurities. I'm letting go of my dreams. I'm letting go of my plans. And what I will get in return for "losing" myself will be a greater gain than anything I could have ever dreamt of or attained on my own. In time God will answer me, and when he does it will come like a TIDAL WAVE crashing over my soul and sweeping me into the overwhelming seas of his grace and favor.
Come Lord Jesus, come and wash over me.
I thought I knew God's will for my life. I thought it was all set out in front of me plain and simple. I knew when I'd get married, where, how, what I'd do afterwards and where I'd live, what seminary I'd attend, and what I'd do for a job, when I'd move back to my hometown, when I'd start having kids...the whole nine yards.
But now my life is a blank slate.
God is showing me that my will is not the same as His. So here I am, waiting patiently for an answer to the giant question mark that is my life, or even a hint of what is to come, and all the while I pray "not my will Lord, but YOURS be done." I made so many mistakes when I was following my own desires and I ran into so many disappoints when I was acting according to my own plans. I sit here confessing these things to God, and He's just shaking his head at me and saying, "Oh dear child, I hate to say this but, I told you so!!! I've been waiting for you to figure that out all your life."
Well God, I've figured it out. I will still make mistakes, I will still follow plans that I think are God's but are really my own, but I will no longer ignore His will because I am foolishly chasing after my own. I will no longer try to control the situations around me or do God's job for him. He asks me to wait. He asks me to trust. He asks me to let go and believe that what he provides is greater than anything I could have clung to.
So I'm letting go.
I'm letting go of my past. I'm letting go of my insecurities. I'm letting go of my dreams. I'm letting go of my plans. And what I will get in return for "losing" myself will be a greater gain than anything I could have ever dreamt of or attained on my own. In time God will answer me, and when he does it will come like a TIDAL WAVE crashing over my soul and sweeping me into the overwhelming seas of his grace and favor.
Come Lord Jesus, come and wash over me.
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." -Galatians 2:20
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