I have a reckless ambition to run.
I keep moving from place to place but I can't seem to find where I belong. I'm so unsettled and discontent with life here and I desperately want to move into a fuller and more abundant life and finally find a place where I can rest and be at home. It's not that I don't have a purpose or that I can't enjoy the things that I do each day, but I feel stuck in some way. Stuck in all sorts of in-betweens. I know that I have a purpose, I know that Christ brings me abundant life, I know that my home is not of this world. But that doesn't mean I don't feel stuck or that I don't struggle to live within Christ's abundance. Life's hard and it's not going to get easier any time soon.
Some days are better than others though. For example, I had one of the best days I've ever had in my life yesterday. I got to spend Sunday night with two of my dearest friends, staying up till three in the morning laughing until we couldn't laugh anymore and finding time in between all our giggles to spill our hearts out to one another. The next day we visited the camp we all worked at last summer and connected with the much beloved returning counselors. Every moment was filled with the most beautiful display of godly community as we shared our joys and pains, our triumphs and trials, and created new memories that we can forever hold in our hearts. Yesterday I felt like I was where I belong. I was where I was supposed to be. The people I love so much are my home.
Unfortunately those people are not around all the time. In fact, none of them live in my town or go to my school. So when I don't have the incredible opportunity to go "home" how do I escape my feelings of being stuck?
I run.
I run and run and run and try to find new places where I can belong. I ran to Ohio. I ran to the beach. I ran to Disney World. I ran to dance and books and music. And now I'm running to Australia. Maybe I shouldn't keep running for the sake of running, maybe I shouldn't keep trying to escape. Maybe I should find a way of not getting tired of people and places and just learn to find my home within me so that it's always there and I don't need to be somewhere or with someone to be at peace. But maybe not...
I think this is my problem--I love running away. I love finding new adventures. I love experiencing new places and meeting new faces. I love the thrill of adventure and the intensity of trials. I love being stretched to the point of breaking down, because I know that in the end running hard will bear much fruit and being broken opens up the door to being restored.
So which is better? Staying back and keeping it all together? Or running away and getting into all sorts of adventures? I've chosen Australia, I've chosen to run. Adventure here I come!!!
I keep moving from place to place but I can't seem to find where I belong. I'm so unsettled and discontent with life here and I desperately want to move into a fuller and more abundant life and finally find a place where I can rest and be at home. It's not that I don't have a purpose or that I can't enjoy the things that I do each day, but I feel stuck in some way. Stuck in all sorts of in-betweens. I know that I have a purpose, I know that Christ brings me abundant life, I know that my home is not of this world. But that doesn't mean I don't feel stuck or that I don't struggle to live within Christ's abundance. Life's hard and it's not going to get easier any time soon.
Some days are better than others though. For example, I had one of the best days I've ever had in my life yesterday. I got to spend Sunday night with two of my dearest friends, staying up till three in the morning laughing until we couldn't laugh anymore and finding time in between all our giggles to spill our hearts out to one another. The next day we visited the camp we all worked at last summer and connected with the much beloved returning counselors. Every moment was filled with the most beautiful display of godly community as we shared our joys and pains, our triumphs and trials, and created new memories that we can forever hold in our hearts. Yesterday I felt like I was where I belong. I was where I was supposed to be. The people I love so much are my home.
Unfortunately those people are not around all the time. In fact, none of them live in my town or go to my school. So when I don't have the incredible opportunity to go "home" how do I escape my feelings of being stuck?
I run.
I run and run and run and try to find new places where I can belong. I ran to Ohio. I ran to the beach. I ran to Disney World. I ran to dance and books and music. And now I'm running to Australia. Maybe I shouldn't keep running for the sake of running, maybe I shouldn't keep trying to escape. Maybe I should find a way of not getting tired of people and places and just learn to find my home within me so that it's always there and I don't need to be somewhere or with someone to be at peace. But maybe not...
I think this is my problem--I love running away. I love finding new adventures. I love experiencing new places and meeting new faces. I love the thrill of adventure and the intensity of trials. I love being stretched to the point of breaking down, because I know that in the end running hard will bear much fruit and being broken opens up the door to being restored.
So which is better? Staying back and keeping it all together? Or running away and getting into all sorts of adventures? I've chosen Australia, I've chosen to run. Adventure here I come!!!
Some glimpses of the many adventures I've had the past couple of weeks!
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